As the wait in China adoption builds, and builds, and builds, families become ever more frustrated and confused. What causes a program which typically took under a year to catapult to such extreme timeframes? This is the question that kept me awake at night as we waited for our daughter to come home. Perhaps my interest has resurfaced in the last few months, because there seems to be no end in sight. I still pay attention, because I feel heartache for families in process. There is no way to find a reason with absolute certainty.
The CCAA indicated a few years ago, there is a decreased number of available children in orphanages as a result of “the development of Chinese society and an increase in domestic adoptions.” Such factors combined with a large number of dossiers have decreased the number of available children. I have several personal theories. None of these theories equate to a decrease in the number of available babies when considering the one child policy, a large gender imbalance, a widening gap between wealth and poverty, and traditions dating back thousands of years. Is it really feasible that a centuries old mindset will suddenly change in a span of five years? Yet, there are families who seemingly buy into this notion, contending the best place for a child is their native culture. This is a wonderful notion however is probably not based on reality.
Perhaps this wait has occurred because we are supposed to see a higher number of special needs children reach their full potential. Certainly a decade ago, three fourths of China adoptions were not special needs. I also constantly remind myself that any child saved, as small as the number are compared to previous years, is a life which will be allowed to reach its full potential.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Gendercide in China
This is a fascinating article on gendercide in China. This is the most detailed article I have read in awhile.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1265068/China-The-worlds-new-superpower-beginning-century-supremacy-alarming-surplus-males.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1265068/China-The-worlds-new-superpower-beginning-century-supremacy-alarming-surplus-males.html
Friday, May 21, 2010
Transitioning into Food
My post two days ago focused on basic principles of transitioning back into home life after travel. One of the other major transitions made is dietary. Finding foods our daughter would eat was one of my largest concerns.
There are a variety of foods our daughter transitioned into easily. Such items were scrambled eggs, toast, crackers, peanut butter (make sure your child does not have a nut allergy) sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, apples, apple juice, cooked carrots, dry cereal, oatmeal, cooked peas, any type of fruit, canned peaches and pears, fish sticks, rice with vegetables, and anything else that contributed to weight gain. Some children have lactose intolerance, so cheese is not appropriate. We were lucky. Our daughter is able to drink milk and loves cheese. A positive means of fat in her diet and one which increases her calcium intake. Many times, this list of food was an alternative to what we put on the table. No, my husband (he loves to cook, so he does a majority of the cooking in our house) is not a short order cook, however we were and still are flexible. Weight gain and maintaining weight is the ultimate goal for a majority of parents.
There are a few foods which our daughter simply will not eat however they are simple to avoid. For example, any cold food is suspect like ice cream or yogurt. This makes sense as our guide in China let us know the Chinese do not use ice or eat a lot of cold foods. It is their belief that it contributes to arthritis. Any recipes with ground meat, or meat period, are suspect. We might be able to sneak in a few bites masking meat with other foods, but she will certainly not consume meat willingly. We are aware that meat was probably not a large part of her diet. Of course, I hear the exact opposite from many adoptive parents. Some say their children want no sweets. We are the exact opposite; our daughter will eat any cookies and candy she can get her hands on.
Internet recipes also made it easy to make foods like congee. This was a comfort to our daughter. My mother prepared a large bowl of congee from a recipe she found online. We were able to warm this up in the microwave and add small bits of meat and vegetable.
Last, we found consistency in our daughter's diet by making sure we ate meals in the same location every day and through trial and error when introducing new foods. This routine allowed our daughter to learn that food would be provided everyday in the same location, and over several months she developed trust. Yes, this meant we did not go out for a lot of meals, however after spending money on an international trip to China; it was nice to cut back on spending.
There are a variety of foods our daughter transitioned into easily. Such items were scrambled eggs, toast, crackers, peanut butter (make sure your child does not have a nut allergy) sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, apples, apple juice, cooked carrots, dry cereal, oatmeal, cooked peas, any type of fruit, canned peaches and pears, fish sticks, rice with vegetables, and anything else that contributed to weight gain. Some children have lactose intolerance, so cheese is not appropriate. We were lucky. Our daughter is able to drink milk and loves cheese. A positive means of fat in her diet and one which increases her calcium intake. Many times, this list of food was an alternative to what we put on the table. No, my husband (he loves to cook, so he does a majority of the cooking in our house) is not a short order cook, however we were and still are flexible. Weight gain and maintaining weight is the ultimate goal for a majority of parents.
There are a few foods which our daughter simply will not eat however they are simple to avoid. For example, any cold food is suspect like ice cream or yogurt. This makes sense as our guide in China let us know the Chinese do not use ice or eat a lot of cold foods. It is their belief that it contributes to arthritis. Any recipes with ground meat, or meat period, are suspect. We might be able to sneak in a few bites masking meat with other foods, but she will certainly not consume meat willingly. We are aware that meat was probably not a large part of her diet. Of course, I hear the exact opposite from many adoptive parents. Some say their children want no sweets. We are the exact opposite; our daughter will eat any cookies and candy she can get her hands on.
Internet recipes also made it easy to make foods like congee. This was a comfort to our daughter. My mother prepared a large bowl of congee from a recipe she found online. We were able to warm this up in the microwave and add small bits of meat and vegetable.
Last, we found consistency in our daughter's diet by making sure we ate meals in the same location every day and through trial and error when introducing new foods. This routine allowed our daughter to learn that food would be provided everyday in the same location, and over several months she developed trust. Yes, this meant we did not go out for a lot of meals, however after spending money on an international trip to China; it was nice to cut back on spending.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Beijing Panda Training Center
USA Today reports on plans to open a facility, training pandas for release into the wild. The adorable photos are enough to warm the heart of any reader.
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2010-05-20-pandas-wild_N.htm?csp=34
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2010-05-20-pandas-wild_N.htm?csp=34
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Four Principles of Transition post Travel
Returning home from an international trip with a confused and exhausted baby is both a joy filled occasion and one wrought with stress. Here are a few simple tips to ease your transition after travel from the completion of an international adoption
1. Surrender your schedule.
Instead of finding routine in your daily schedule, find routine in normal daily activities. For example, my husband takes our son out for breakfast on Saturdays. This was an easy activity which did not require our daughter, whose internal clock was completely out of whack, to fall into our old routine. Choose one activity like this per day. It gives you the basis for finding consistency.
2. Ease into work.
My husband took 2 additional days off or a Thursday and Friday, so there were five additional days to recover. This might sound like common sense, but it is worth mentioning. I personally have returned to work the day after an international trip. We did not have children at the time, so I cannot imagine having a newly adopted child, in this situation. I outsource writing projects, and I did not agree to complete any new projects for the first few weeks home.
3. Bar the door.
Family and friends are elated you are home, and if given the chance will stop in to visit. And why wouldn’t they? After all, you have just come home with a beautiful child! Communicate your expectations about visitors prior to travel. I am lucky. Our families are very respectful. If you sense this might be an issue with family and friends have a conversation prior to traveling. Communication was not my strong suite after hours on a plane and having experienced something as profound as the adoption of our daughter. Let people know your expectations, and educate family and friends.
4. Avoid making assumptions about your child’s behavior.
Our daughter functioned well, given the circumstances. However, thinking back on her behavior, I know it was a very stressful emotional period. Do not draw conclusions on your child’s behavior based on the first few months home. I parallel the experience to being dropped on Mars. I found it best to journal daily. When it was a rough day, I looked back and read about our daughter, giving me the opportunity to see her progress.
1. Surrender your schedule.
Instead of finding routine in your daily schedule, find routine in normal daily activities. For example, my husband takes our son out for breakfast on Saturdays. This was an easy activity which did not require our daughter, whose internal clock was completely out of whack, to fall into our old routine. Choose one activity like this per day. It gives you the basis for finding consistency.
2. Ease into work.
My husband took 2 additional days off or a Thursday and Friday, so there were five additional days to recover. This might sound like common sense, but it is worth mentioning. I personally have returned to work the day after an international trip. We did not have children at the time, so I cannot imagine having a newly adopted child, in this situation. I outsource writing projects, and I did not agree to complete any new projects for the first few weeks home.
3. Bar the door.
Family and friends are elated you are home, and if given the chance will stop in to visit. And why wouldn’t they? After all, you have just come home with a beautiful child! Communicate your expectations about visitors prior to travel. I am lucky. Our families are very respectful. If you sense this might be an issue with family and friends have a conversation prior to traveling. Communication was not my strong suite after hours on a plane and having experienced something as profound as the adoption of our daughter. Let people know your expectations, and educate family and friends.
4. Avoid making assumptions about your child’s behavior.
Our daughter functioned well, given the circumstances. However, thinking back on her behavior, I know it was a very stressful emotional period. Do not draw conclusions on your child’s behavior based on the first few months home. I parallel the experience to being dropped on Mars. I found it best to journal daily. When it was a rough day, I looked back and read about our daughter, giving me the opportunity to see her progress.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Recent Violence in Foshan, Guangzhou
Another story of an attack in a public place. Man responsible for kindergarten attack on a Chinese kindergarten is sentenced.
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/05/17/china.cleaver.attack/index.html?iref=allsearch
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/05/17/china.cleaver.attack/index.html?iref=allsearch
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Night Terror Truths
Our daughter did not experience night terrors until several months after travel. I was taken aback when I saw my normally easy going daughter thrashing around her crib. After many sleepless nights, I began researching night terrors on many of my go to boards for international adoption. After a bit of research, I was able to come up with a somewhat comprehensive list of characteristics distinguishing night terrors from other sleep disturbances.
• Protect your child from hurting themselves by removing toys from their bed.
• Night terrors typically do not occur after the first third of the night. Children fall into their deepest sleep during the first hour, transitioning into REM sleep. It is during this shift between light sleep and heavy sleep that children have night terrors.
• Parents typically find their child is sweaty with an increased heart rate and rapid breathing.
• When a child is having a night terror, it is best to let it run its course. Meaning, stand beside their bed or crib but avoid picking them up. A child will fall back asleep without help. It is the obvious inclination of parents to sooth their child, but the child can typically overcome the situation without intervention. Of course, you should try to sooth them and wait until it is over.
• Children typically have no recollection of the event.
• Night terrors occur more frequently when a child’s regular sleep pattern is disturbed or a child has experienced anxiety. Night terrors also occur in adopted children who have had medication which affects their central nervous system, meaning anesthesia.
Other simple causes include eating too much prior to laying down.
• Nightmares are different than night terrors. Nightmares occur during the REM cycle of sleep. Only about 1-6% of children have true night terrors.
• Parents who are experiencing nights long episodes can try to prevent them by waking up their child after about a half an hour of sleep. This will break the sleep cycle, so the episode might be avoided.
• Parents of international adoption will also find the following article helpful in better understanding night terrors.
http://www.chinesechildren.org/Newsletter/Professional%20Corner%5CPC_04_2007.pdf
• Protect your child from hurting themselves by removing toys from their bed.
• Night terrors typically do not occur after the first third of the night. Children fall into their deepest sleep during the first hour, transitioning into REM sleep. It is during this shift between light sleep and heavy sleep that children have night terrors.
• Parents typically find their child is sweaty with an increased heart rate and rapid breathing.
• When a child is having a night terror, it is best to let it run its course. Meaning, stand beside their bed or crib but avoid picking them up. A child will fall back asleep without help. It is the obvious inclination of parents to sooth their child, but the child can typically overcome the situation without intervention. Of course, you should try to sooth them and wait until it is over.
• Children typically have no recollection of the event.
• Night terrors occur more frequently when a child’s regular sleep pattern is disturbed or a child has experienced anxiety. Night terrors also occur in adopted children who have had medication which affects their central nervous system, meaning anesthesia.
Other simple causes include eating too much prior to laying down.
• Nightmares are different than night terrors. Nightmares occur during the REM cycle of sleep. Only about 1-6% of children have true night terrors.
• Parents who are experiencing nights long episodes can try to prevent them by waking up their child after about a half an hour of sleep. This will break the sleep cycle, so the episode might be avoided.
• Parents of international adoption will also find the following article helpful in better understanding night terrors.
http://www.chinesechildren.org/Newsletter/Professional%20Corner%5CPC_04_2007.pdf
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