National Public Radio's Continued Series on China's One Child Policy

National Public Radio continued its series of articles on China's one child policy. This particular article depicts the work of one of its "one child policy enforcers."

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/06/21/pm-one-child-the-enforcer

National Public Radio's Article on the One Child Policy

I found this brief outline of the one child policy interesting. I had no idea that its original intent was to allowing more than one child after several decades.
http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/06/21/pm-china-one-child-policy-a-brief-history/

Ouch: Hitting Children 101

One of the many behaviors we have noticed as a result of the time our daughter spent in the orphanage is hitting. This did not come as a shock. Typically, such behavior occurs when she is overly tired. We make every effort to circumvent such behavior prior to it happening. We do not stay up an extended period of time or put her into situations where she is forced to stay up. For example, on the 4th of July, we are attempting to figure out who will take our son to the fireworks while the other stays home to put her to bed. It is simply not worth the struggle and frustration. By the way, I am giving myself a vote for going to the fireworks.

One thing I have observed is the hitting is not the typical response of an angry 2 year old. It is 100% instinct. There is something internal, something she has witnessed too many times, altering her natural response. After she is done, she typically laughs. We handle this by redirecting her behavior. This amounts to telling her “nice touches” and running her hand across my cheek. We have noticed her steadily improving over the last couple of weeks. This is further witnessed when she comes up and runs her hands on my cheeks, during normal activities, saying, “nice touches.”

Here are a couple more tips for parents of kids who hit.

1. Stay calm. It is our natural tendency to freak out when our kids exhibit these behaviors. By not bringing more chaos to the situation, we teach our children to respond appropriately.

2. Remove your child from the situation. Meaning, if the hitting occurs while playing, take them out of play before redirecting.

3. If your child is old enough, verbalize appropriate behavior.

4. Praise your child for appropriate behavior.

5. Finally, seek professional advice if the aggressive behavior does not stop. A counselor can help to sort out this negative behavior.

And now for fun news......

I am back! I had a brief hiatus due to another writing project and vacation but will begin posting regular articles and news. This is an interesting article, has nothing really to do with adoption, however I found it interesting. It is another way Chinese are attempting to deal with the already widening gender gap.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/01/25/china.online.dating/index.html

Saving for Adoption

Recently, it has come to my attention that interational adoption is expensive. This is obviously not the first time I have considered how much it actually cost. I was completely aware of the cost when I was writing out checks, wearing the same clothes for 2 years, and living like a pauper. There were several things we did to accomplish saving.

My husband and I made the small investment to form an LLC. This allowed him to work on the side, using the skills from his profession to save. This was a sacrifice working nights and weekends but was the bulk of the money. I took on extra writing projects. I have heard of parents waiting tables. Whatever creates the money necessary to pay fees.

As a former collector, I am already a tightwad. 6 years of listening to other people's financial woes will do that to a person. Maybe that is why I save money in a tin can for incidentals, burying nickels like a squirrel. Instead of taking money from our main savings, we waited until the tin can was full. Every time I got change at the store I made a point of dumping it in the tin box.

We cancelled cable for a very long summer. I read a ton of books on international adoption, checked out videos from the library, took walks to public parks, and camped on the weekends. Most of all, we learned not to spend on items which were not necessary. Whenever I felt the urge to spend, I imagined how much more it meant to have our child home.

We kept track of unnecessary spending by tallying the amount we spent on items like a pop or coffee, food purchased for lunch, or anything which did not absolutely need. I was amazed at the amount. This helped us to identify our triggers and unnecessary spending.

We did not do garage sales or any other fundraising requiring money from someone else to come up with travel funds. This was a personal choice, however many families involved in saving for an interational adoption create at least a few hundred dollars. It is a ton of work. However, I think if it is advertised it could be profitable. Sometimes families ask others to bring in items for sale to make it larger. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would be happy to unearth a few items from the basement. Fundraisers like meals and silent auctions with items donated are also worthwhile. Others choose to do home parties.

Last, I drove a used vehicle. We have a short distance to work, and this worked well. I found a reliable Nissan and was able to use this for the past three years, avoiding a monthly car payment. I understand this is not practical for everyone, especially those with a long commute.

When we did shop, we went online for the best deal, shopped for clothes off season, and found good sales. I try to shop a season ahead for my kids and never buy clothing at full price unless it is a special occassion. We we did do something like go out to eat, we went less frequently and chose something good. This sounds rediculous.

Families who cannot save out of pocket for the entire cost of international adoption also look into grants, a low interest home equity loan, or simply a low interest credit card for travel expenses.

So here is a brief version of how we saved. I am certain there are more creative ideas when saving for international adoption however this is what worked for my family.

Father's Day Books for China Adoption Dad's

When we were researching all things China and waiting for our referral, this was one of my absolute favorite books. It is based on the story of a man living in China as a student in the 1980's and gives the stories of the people he encounters. My husband was gone for a weekend, and I could not put it down. It gave great cultural insight.











This is a favorite I check out from the local library frequently. I am going to purchase this myself, because the photos are so vivid and beautiful. It takes the reader through a series of writings and pictures about the everyday life of Chinese people. I could look at it for hours. Very nice pictures.











I am reading this book right now. It is a few years old, but from a historical context is a valuable read. It tells the story of China from several different perspectives. Xinran is always a great read.














Here are a couple more suggestions. My kids love Mercer Mayer.