Ouch: Hitting Children 101

One of the many behaviors we have noticed as a result of the time our daughter spent in the orphanage is hitting. This did not come as a shock. Typically, such behavior occurs when she is overly tired. We make every effort to circumvent such behavior prior to it happening. We do not stay up an extended period of time or put her into situations where she is forced to stay up. For example, on the 4th of July, we are attempting to figure out who will take our son to the fireworks while the other stays home to put her to bed. It is simply not worth the struggle and frustration. By the way, I am giving myself a vote for going to the fireworks.

One thing I have observed is the hitting is not the typical response of an angry 2 year old. It is 100% instinct. There is something internal, something she has witnessed too many times, altering her natural response. After she is done, she typically laughs. We handle this by redirecting her behavior. This amounts to telling her “nice touches” and running her hand across my cheek. We have noticed her steadily improving over the last couple of weeks. This is further witnessed when she comes up and runs her hands on my cheeks, during normal activities, saying, “nice touches.”

Here are a couple more tips for parents of kids who hit.

1. Stay calm. It is our natural tendency to freak out when our kids exhibit these behaviors. By not bringing more chaos to the situation, we teach our children to respond appropriately.

2. Remove your child from the situation. Meaning, if the hitting occurs while playing, take them out of play before redirecting.

3. If your child is old enough, verbalize appropriate behavior.

4. Praise your child for appropriate behavior.

5. Finally, seek professional advice if the aggressive behavior does not stop. A counselor can help to sort out this negative behavior.